When It's Hot in New England, Why Do People Complain About Florida?

Every time it gets above 85. "How do people LIVE like this? I could NEVER live in Florida."

1. They have a pool in every house and two outside.
   
2. They have air conditioning EVERYWHERE.
   
3. When you live there for more than a year, your blood thins. Therefore, you are COLD when it's under 75 degrees (like me all the time).
   
4. It's a peninsula. You're not more than an hour and a half from a beach pretty much anywhere.
   
5. Did I mention there's air conditioning everywhere?
   
6. It's 82 degrees right now in Sarasota. It's 103 degrees right now in my front yard.
   
7. Because of the massive encephalitis risk, they spray the living shit (literally) out of every insect on the peninsula. So, while you're hot, you aren't having your thin blood tapped out of you by mosquitoes the size of pigeons, which is what happens in my yard.
   
8. Yes. It is hot enough for me. Thanks for asking.
   

There are lots of reasons not to live in Florida. Alligators. Non-indigenous, species-threatening python explosions. The aforementioned encephalitis. Venomous snakes. THREE species of native black widow spiders. Whatever's going on here. I vote that we throw some of these things into the mix instead of the hot weather.